this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
this boner is exhausting
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
