I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
