Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
