if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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