I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
