i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
