the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
