I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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