Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
