he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
nutella sex= disaster
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
