That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
