remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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