so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize