hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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