Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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