and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
