So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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