he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
