I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
