I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
