let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
