porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
