I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
