Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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