The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
