I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
