Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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