the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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