So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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