I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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