you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
