Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
