i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
