where am i from again
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
