i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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