Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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