So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Farmville is her only friend.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
