Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
