maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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