Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She announced her abortion via fbk
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm at about main and main street
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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