I must be too annoying 4 u.
another moral hangover. fuck.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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