I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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