My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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