Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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