careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
