if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
where are my eyebrows?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
