Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so let's talk penis.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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