you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
