Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
