yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
