What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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