Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You are the jesus of drinking
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
