It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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