"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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