Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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