i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
