She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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