Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
