Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
