It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
