if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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