i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize