she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
