I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
