yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
