SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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