I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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