Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
