i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
