She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The Olympian is in my bed
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize