Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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