This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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