Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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