so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
