Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
